Hand in hand they strolled in a comfortable silence, browsing through the myriad of books they found pleasure immersing in. It was what they usually did when they spent time together. Many thought it dull, but for the couple, it was one of the best ways to spend time together. It was a comfortable routine: When they came across a book they both fancied, they would find a quiet corner, snuggle and read together. For hours, they did just that, reveling in little else but each other's presence.

Before they could get enough of each other's company, he smiled winsomely at her and with a gentle tilt of his head towards the lift, indicated that it was time to leave. Standing up, they smoothed out the creases from their uniform and made their way towards the lift. The lift was in a quiet corner of the bookstore, and as they stood waiting for the lift, they gazed at each other and so caught up in the moment... They leaned in for a kiss.

Just a kiss. A simple kiss. A soft kiss. A gentle kiss. One that spoke nothing of lust, but all about love. The bubble of warm and fuzzy feelings that erupted in the chests of both individuals left them stunned as they pulled away from each other.

"Whoa." was all both could manage to say.

Just then, the Moment was rudely interrupted by the arrival of the lift.

Just as rudely as this "perfection" was ruined by the introduction of a foreign agent.

The beauty of innocent love. Where has it gone?

{-+-}

We're all sitting around the table eating dinner, which is fried seafood noodles. I comment that the thing with the noodles is that it's yummy, but not filling. My sis says that it was even better, because it means that we can eat more of it. I point to the platter of almost gone noodles and say that we can't, because there is limited supply.

Mommy: That's cos i have to keep my quota.

Sis and i blink.

Me: Huh? What?(thinking i had heard her wrongly)

Mommy: Because i have to keep my quota. So that i can make beef hor fun the next time.

Me: *completely lost* Quota? Like Q-U-O-T-A?

Mommy: Yah... Quota lah! *looks exasperated*

Me: Huh!? What are you talking about!?

Mommy: *nudges my dad, supremely confident that he knows what she's talking about* Dah, you tell them.

Daddy: *looks away from the tv* Hmm.. What quota?

Mommy: ....( that silence complete with the -.-" face)

{-+-}

Sigh... Right now. I feel sick. Emotionally sick. A myriad of emotions battling it out within me. Wonder which one will emerge victorious.

I've got a bugger of a headache from reading Sartre off the computer screen. That and the profound and complex philosophies these stupid people espouse.

I'm irritated with my parents because they are arguing over something very stupid. Something about my dad bugging my mom for dinner. (I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID.) I mean for fuck's sake lah, shut up.

I'm really afraid/nervous for the Philo of Film paper tomorrow. 'Cos i know i don't know my films and philosophies well. And i know that i cannot afford to fail this paper. I don't wanna be expelled no matter how xian i am of NUS. I am essentially willing upon myself the bane of academia.

I am annoyed like hell at Ryan for treating me like a spare friend, contacting me only when he needs feng's number, is shitting and has nothing to do or when he needs something that i can help him with. That and his constant "i'm caving in". I don't know why i'm worried that he'll fall back into that shithole, but i just am. But i really shouldn't, cos that jerk doesn't give a shit about me.

I am excited about tomorrow being my last paper.

I am feeling sad because i just watched some charity show where Fiona Xie was doing this flips thingy with a disabled boy.*sighs* It is so unfair that there are people in this world who do not appreciate/deserve the fully functional bodies they have, but those who yearn so much for one, don't have it.

Did i mention i have a splitting headache?

{-+-}

Wtf.

You act like the fact that you still have contact with my friends, is all of your own merit and none of mine.

You've broken up with her, but you still don't treat me right.

You still treat me like Plan B. " I shall call her when the need arises. Or when i'm bored and there's no one else to talk to."

You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you and all your stupid problems and self-centredness.

I've had enough. And if you piss me off more, i will wish HER on you. Cos honestly, you really deserve each other.

WTF. I'm pissed.

{-+-}

{-+-}

Daddy walks into the room. I'm on the computer chatting and reading blogs. Sister is lying on the bed reading Harry Potter for the gazillionth time.

Daddy: Girl arh, you made some cheesy thing is it?

Me: Huh? What cheesy thing?

Daddy: There, the one in the fridge.

Me: (thinking he was talking about the kraft cheese spread in the fridge) Huh? No, i never make anything lah.

Daddy: Then what is that thing in the container in the fridge?

Me: (starting to conjure up images of weird cheesy concoctions) Huh? What are you talking about??

Daddy: There. The thing in the container. It looks cheesy and mushy and ricey and yellow...

Me: (mentally cringing. thinking of rotten vomit and cheese mixed together.) Huh? What is -that-!? I never make anything.

And then suddenly. *click* It all made sense.

Me: (with a -.-" expression on my face) That's Shepherd's pie daddy. Mommy brought it home from the office today. Her boss' wife made for us.

Daddy: ...

Sister: *bursts out laughing*

I love daddy when he makes me laugh like that.*beams*

{-+-}

Quite a few things have happened in the past few days(none that involve me actually. haha!) and i've been thinking. So i've decided that since i cannot say these things to the people themselves, i shall let it all out on my quaint lil blog*beams*

To Her

You are an inconsiderate bitch who cares for no one but herself. Your closest friends don't see it because they love you too much to see things outside of what you tell them. You terrorise people emotionally and manipulate them to do exactly what you want. Then when they do, you aren't satisfied because it's never good enough for you.

Calling people fat just because they have bigger boobs than you is not nice. It is not only appalling, it also doesn't reflect well on the kind of person that you are. It only proves to the whole world that you have an inferiority complex that you have to soothe by calling people names just because there might be the possibility that they are BETTER people than you will ever be. Stop calling people sluts and leeches and CUNTS, because it's crude and uncouth. Reality check Princess : You're -not- hot. At all. Gloating over the fact that your friend said the other girl was not pretty? *snorts* Get a load of this : Everyone else on His side thinks you're fugly. So get over yourself and give every other person in this world a BREAK.

You've broken up. Who he has dinner with, what he does and where he goes is NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. You want to move on, and you are allowed to. So why is he not? Have you no CONSIDERATION for others? Giving him shit on the night before his paper is bad enough. Giving him shit right before his paper? Completely unforgivable. Spiting him by going out with other guys? My my, that's NOT slutty at all. So before you start pointing fingers at others, assess your own behaviour.

I know you hate my guts. But no matter what you choose to believe, i've never cheated on you with him. The times we never told you we met up, was simply because when we did you'd magically morph into an emotional machine gun and go completely ballistic, firing randomly. You wanted honesty, you wanted the truth. But you couldn't -handle- the truth. Even in the justice system, a criminal is given leniency if he should confess to his crime. Why leniency? To be granted leniency would serve as an incentive for more criminals to own up. Every time he told you he'd met up with me, you'd go bonkers. And get -really- mad. Where's the incentive in being honest then?

Your behaviour is appalling and the worst part is, you go around scarring people emotionally. And some kind advice - Seek psychiatric help. You really need it.

To Him

It's really time you moved on. After finally getting all those things off your chest, why apologise? Do you realise that you're apologising for being -honest-? Isn't that what she's been asking of you all this while? Ironic isn't it?

I know you feel you have no friends. But don't just harp and mourn the loss of your friends. Do something about it. There are so many things in life to do, to look forward to, to work towards. Having a girlfriend isn't everything. Firstly, you really should work on getting your friends back.

It gets really tiring to be a friend to someone who only takes, and almost never gives. A friendship works only when both parties are giving as much as their taking. Stop taking those who care most about you for granted. I mean, -really-. Don't take them for granted. 'Cos if you do, there'll be one day when they finally get sick of your shit, that they'll just leave you.

Don't abuse the sympathy and concern your friends are showing you. You are allowed a grace period to mope and be diffident, but after awhile, it all gets old and people will get frustrated and annoyed with you. Pick up the pieces and chuck them away. In other words - LET IT GO.

Get on with your life. You're a smart person. With many interests(other than girls). Go pursue them. There are better things to do with your time than mope about a psychotic love lost.

Sick of studying. I wanna play computer games.

{-+-}

Ted Bundy - Notorious serial killer who murdered dozens of girls.

Death to him. He deserves it.

Charles Manson - Insane serial killer who influenced many youths into believing his warped doctrines and justifying their heinous acts through it.

Death to him. He deserves it.

Hitler - Responsible for the massive genocide during the 2nd world war.

Death to him. He deserves it.

Ku Klux Klan - Notorious for their racist activities, extreme ones even claiming innocent lives.

Death to them. They deserve it.

Andrea Yates - Andrea Yates filled her tub with water and began systematically drowning her 5 children.

Death to her. She deserves it.

But do they really?

It is so easy and so satisfying to see someone who has committed a heinous crime get his/her just desserts by the manifestation of the law in the death and life sentence. When the final just verdict is passed, it's like elation just floods through your veins and you think "Hah! Serves you right for all the crimes you've committed and all the lives you've ruined in the process!"

It's really not that simple. What we know about these cases is what the media wants us to know. What is sensational, what will sell, what -we- want to see/hear - that's what the media covers. And they present it to us accordingly. But we really don't know how the aftermath of these acts affect the individuals themselves, or their families. Can we not sympathise with these people, and maybe see that their demise is not the solution or perfect closure to these crimes? These people have families too. These people have feelings too(warped or not).

These people are human too. Just like you and me.

{-+-}

I -really- don't want to know.

I'm impressed.

You've already found someone new.

Smses and phone calls at night.

All within a week of your painful, heartwrenching break-up?

I see history repeating itself.

I was there the last time this happened.

But this time...

I -really- don't want to know.

{-+-}

I hate it when i watch tv shows and the ending isn't one i wanted.

I hate expecting something and then not having it happen.

I hate that you always dangle hope in front of me, and then yank it away almost as suddenly.

I hate being disappointed.

I don't think i'm in love with you anymore. And i don't think i harbour any more hope of us picking up where we left off. But i do want the best for you, and at this moment, leaving the past behind and moving on is it. So why is it that you -always- disappoint me by proudly informing me you've taken the first step forward, only to take 2 back almost immediately. Yes, that was a statement. Because i -do- know why.

Prove me wrong babe, i hope you prove us -all- wrong.

{-+-}

I created a quiz, go do it when you're bored enough:)

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=041114120927-489176

{-+-}

I have a big dream. But little hope.

I can't seem to concentrate on studying knowing that there's something else i -want- to do besides slog away at academia.

I don't -know- if my dream can be realised, but i think when i pluck up enough courage, i'll give it a shot. But i'm afraid i'll fail. I'm afraid i'll be rejected. It'd be like being doused by icy water... except worse.

Oh God, you've always been kind to me. I pray that you give me the courage to at least -try- and fulfil this dream. Amen.

{-+-}

Tips on how to live a fulfilling life

Give people more than what they want, and do it with all your heart.

Whenever you say "I love you", mean it.

Whenever you say "I'm sorry", look the person right in the eye.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never ignore someone's dreams.

Love deeply and passionately, you may get hurt, but this is the only way to live life completely.

Speak slowly but think fast.

Remember the deepest love and the greatest achievements are the ones that bear the most risks.

Embrace changes, but do not repudiate your own values.

Remember sometimes that silence is the best answer.

Lead a good and honest life. Like this, when you are old and remember the past, you will see how you can enjoy it all once again.

"Trust God, but lock your car well."

Do not trust a partner that never closes his/her eyes while kissing you.

Learn well all the rules, so as to know how to break them in the proper manner.

Remember the best relationship is the one where the love of one for another matters more than the need to be with each other.

Face love and cooking with absolute commitment, not expecting too much in return.

To find true love is like finding a needle in a haystack.

My... How idealistic. I found these scribbled on a notepad i used back in 1999. I think it's really quite amusing how these things managed to strike a chord in my heart. Now i look at it and think: *snorts derisively* Kids. Maybe Feng's right... I am an angsty bee-atch^^ Oh, for all those having exams, a friend sent me this quote, and i thought it was apt. Enjoy.

"The road is long and tiring. I cannot see the end." But remember this, once you believe in yourself, tiredness will fade and it doesn't matter when or where the road will end, because there is no such a thing as an endless road.

{-+-}

Was listening to Jay Chou's "Simple Love".

I want a love where all a guy wants is to hold my hand and watch the sunset together. To relish and take joy in the mundane moments spent together. To keep it simple and uncomplicated, so that we can enjoy Love. Instead of fighting and arguing in the name of "love".

And did i mention i hate studying?

I'm sure you guys know anyway.

{-+-}

{-+-}

It's really sickening how you never fall sick during the school term, but fall REALLY sick when the school term ends. Urgh. The previous post was posted on the 28th Oct, but for some reason, it never appeared. So i just posted it again.

Just read Feng's blog and... Wah Feng... what brought on the angst man?:P Anyway, i feel like crap. I've never had a flu THIS bad.. I can't taste ANYTHING i'm eating. I really mean NADA. I could eat bittergourd and only taste the bitterness. My dad went out to buy the panadol lemon drink for me... And i know it's supposed to taste lemony.. But you know Sour Power the candy? The white stuff covering the candy that's really sour? Yeah, the lemony drink tasted like the white stuff alone. UBER gross.

And the cat's bloody spoilt. He refuses to use the silicon litter i bought for him. He kicked the silicon out of his tray, knocked his food bowl over and made a mess of my room-.-" Aiyah, i dunno what to do.

Everyone's mugging! Why in the world's everyone's mugging already!? Making me feel AWFULLY guilty. And did you know that when one of your ear suddenly gets blocked, your head starts spinning? Well, more accurately, you lose your balance? I found that out the hard way, and decided to flop on the bed immediately. Haha!

And i can't believe Bush is in for a 2nd term! God bless America... Seriously.*presents chrysanthamums* However your spell it.

{-+-}