You know it's odd how i'm always popping in on this page expecting to read something new.... Even though i haven't updated it? It's almost like i subconciously EXPECT it to be MIRACULOUSLY(i think i spelt this wrong... But hey it's christmas!^^) updated!*grin*

Christmas day itself was the best i've had in years. The past few years... SOMEONE has always managed to put a damper on my spirits. That or it was really boring. THIS Christmas though...*GRIN* Although it was only the first half of the day that was fun, it was more than enough fun and elation to last me throughout the day.*grin* I hope it all works out..*HOPES**beams*

Oh fuck man, results are out in 30 mins. I'm fucking scared. What the FUCK am i gonna do when i get expelled!?!?!? Fuck did i say "when"?? I meant "IF"! Crap! -_-"

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I think it's scary how life is.

How it is so transient.

A brave, ex-KMT soldier whom we got to know while we were in Thailand passed away 2 months after we left.

We left him with promises of photos and letters, even though he was sceptical.

We finally got round to doing it.

But now he's gone.

I feel this sadness in my heart. I don't know why, but even though i didn't know him well... I feel that part of my wonderful experience in Thailand has been lost along with his death.

Zhao shu shu, may you rest in peace... And i'll never forget you and the history you told us.

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Oh and i forgot to mention something! Even if this thing that has happened, doesn't turn out to be a "happy thing", it wouldn't have all be for naught! Cos from it i've learn ONE very important thing :

Ryan and his problems have been plaguing me. From the time i loved him, to the time i stopped, and to the time i've given up on him(which is now). And thanks to someone, I realised that i should stop thinking about him. Even if it's mostly bitchy, unflattering thoughts. It's just so.. bleargh. It was... Enlightening... If i could say so.

*grin* From now on, Ryan is like what ZX is to me. NON-EXISTANT. After that night i hung up on him... he hasn't called, and i hope he doesn't call me anymore. Cos i don't wanna have to be mean. OR rude. *grin*

Oh, and Ryan, if you're being a KPO and reading my blog... Not that i mean to be mean.. But, these are the things that i could never bring myself to say to you. I mean i did care for you once, and i don't want us to end up 'enemies'. Heh. Just take it in stride lah. I mean, you didn't expect me to continue being hung up on you right? And just so you know... Sympathy is not the same thing as being 'hung-up':P

*sings* O happy days!*grins and winks*

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Elated for so many reasons!

My computer has been fixed. I'm online again. Oh my birbies... I've missed you all!*smoochies*

I think something good's happened to me.

But i can't be sure.

Cos it can only be something good if the other person thinks so too.

I'm hopeful... But not certain. I've learnt never to be too sure about ANYTHING.

But i'm tired of playing games. And i don't like the suspense. I like to know what's going on.

I blame the past 2 pissheads. They've scarred me for life.

I've always had a wild imagination, i've always been an avid thinker. Now i think my brain's going on overdrive.

Oh well, i shan't think about it! I shall just enjoy the moment! So many things to think about! (BELLE LET'S STAY IN HALL!^^)

Will just take it as it comes... Let's hope things started off on the right note.

If not....

I'll just give in to my innermost desires.

And turn lesbian.

*GRIN*

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